I consider that Friday and
now remember
it was the machines tearing
at her flesh
that woke me
my bones ached
my back the shape of a train seat
and I
could no longer ignore
the sounds
I walked through your
nearly abandoned sanctuary
past the chair sittin’ chairs
the blinds were open
I gazed through your mind’s glass
the branches across the street were moving
I assumed that was the only crime scene
xylem and phloem dripping off their hands
and down the rigging
I was unsettled
began picking blackberries
I’m so sorry I left our nest that morning…
You were right to feel it all that way
to speak those words in red…
I decided I would feel less scalded if I
went to look at her
I needed the soft company of another woman
confusion began to strangle me
Was I not at the right window?
I ran to the bedroom desperately
clung to the ledge
that’s when I looked down and saw her
four leaves remained
fingers covered with blood
I gasped and cried out
For You
For Her
thought of the leaf in the back of the book
the love poems that were penned
homage to her limbs and grace
how I loved the way you looked at her
I began to rue the day
feared guilt by association
fuck that be strong now
what do I do?
no stopping
inevitable crashes
I realize I am grateful to be the messenger
possessing legs to stand beside you
arms to cradle you with warmth
eyes to look at you with hope
a willing heart to love you through all of it
a grateful voice to say
You are my cause