lunar tic

you need not

look up the word

lunatic

in the big book of irony

to know the etymology

of the obvious

consider the gregorian rant

that super moon

sure is reeking

havoc

upon the curdled masses

so if you’re

wondering why

your senile grandfather

stole your car to go find

his dead brother

 or why you just upped your own dose

it’s the reason austin nichols took an

extra rifled shot at that wild turkey

and why you just ordered a triple

it’s why the toliet is flushing backwards

and toothpaste suddenly goes perfectly with orange juice

it’s the reason there was an earthquake today in youngstown

and why sushi will be forever radioactive

it’s the reason your calculus teacher’s eye

gave an extra twitch

it’s the reason your wife is sleeping

with prince valium instead of you

and why you’re wondering what color casket

your husband would look good in

you need look no further than the darkened orb laden sky

it’s why the tin foil hats are extra big today

it’s why if you saw the kleenex boxes on howard hughes’ feet

you’d think

ooooh where can i get a pair of those

it’s why you’re looking up boiling bunnies

in the fatal attraction i will not be ignored

book of recipes

and yes it’s why your ex chose today of all days

it’s the reason your two year old

screamed louder in walmart

than when you pushed her out

it’s why  post tantrum you wiped off the pea soup

put holy water in the sippee cup

and considered calling a priest

it’s why your family

is making the borgias look like

a tightly knit brood

it’s why we’re all making

cybil seem well adjusted

so thank the man on the moon

for his circular vicious cycle

because it’s him

making

us

all

ball

scream our

level heads off

and

bleed

baby

bleed