The More You Know…(A public service announcement for omnipotent beings taking a first aid class)

Did you know this fun fact?
When a grown man is choking
in a public place or restaurant,
that 7 out of 10 of them
will not make the universal symbol
of the hands around the throat,
“Please help me, Momma come quick, Papa is dying…” gesture? Instead, they retreat to the bathroom
and try to Heimlich
themselves.
Just like directions, I don’t need any help, good samaritan!
I forgive you your testicles, big boy.
Yeah, the Heimlich came from Cincinnati, too…
This is why there is something to
be said…
for evolving out of wisdom teeth,
pandas growing thumbs,
and natural selection.
Enjoy the next thousand years.