a love note written

it is a rainy

election day

my little cottage is warm

and full of day-off-from-school laughter

covered in red fleece blankets

the sort of tuesday perfect for spooning

and watching a terrible movie for the sake of watching a terrible movie

pillow fort burrowed into the bed

i have chosen to read

a stack of things i’ve been wanting to get to

but it’s the regifted kafka from our mutual bedroom window sill

that makes it into my waiting hands

and back under the covers

i leaf through

no cherry tree book marks

that’s another volume of memories all together

this is when the little slip of paper fell

onto my lap

millenium hotel stationery

i wonder if you knew it was there

perhaps placed intentionally

a love note written

and sailed upon an ocean of time

ink glowing as steadfast blood

“M-

I love you.

Indeed.

-A”

i consider it’s counterpart written

that first time we said no one else would ever do

by your hand

“the goodbyes only get harder from here”

oh god if only i had known

what those words would come to mean

that day on the bench

clinging to you on sixth street

when we couldn’t turn away

despite the sirens

and couldn’t imagine a life

without each other

before the bloody war

and the loss of reason

memory most cherished

deep breath

when the thought occurs

was it worth it

yes

every scream

every tear

every drop of blood shed

i would do it all over again

because i know what was in my heart

that last day standing beside a hess mart gas pump

in boonton wanting to kiss you one last time

with plans of coming back

and staying forever

rhino rubber bands pulling back my hair

and

your perpetual sunglasses

i would stop time in that moment

if it were possible

instead

i choose to remember

what it was like

to kiss you hello