this apartment smells like a girl

i spilled the
cinnasnap colored
nail polish on the bathroom tile
an accident
but perhaps a subconscious
attempt to fit into your life

it was not a matter of trust or fear
that prevented me from asking for help
with the spill
instead i considered the brighter red bottle of the same brand lingering
in the kitchen cupboard

this is what it will take
for him to think of me

i stayed there looking at the mess
alone