he watched smiling
pouring drinks
soothing me
as i rushed teary eyed
around the hotel room
attempting to pack
the enormity of this new found life
into a reasonably sized carry on bag
in time to catch my flight
all my sparkly things
heels laptop paperwork boarding passes
the shampoo he loves to use
remnants of our time together
as i did the LAX calculus about departures arrivals and rental car returns
he began to scribble little notes on the hotel stationery
saying
they were suggestions
for poetry to watch
while i’m flying
things that will move me
and help me forget
that i’m moving through space
away from him
he crumpled the last
four notes into the bottom
of my purse
making me promise not to read those
until i was on the plane
he offered to walk me out
i said no
he didn’t know i was afraid that i wouldn’t be able to drive away
he insisted and walked me out anyway
i loved him more for it
complying with his request
i saved the notes until the fasten seatbelt light had been turned off
they were filled with laughter
our inside jokes
dirty cartoons
and well wishes
how i devoured them
his
love fortune cookies
i didn’t open the fourth one
couldn’t stand the thought of not having something from his hand to look forward to
i held off until tonight
needing to feel him near
unfolded one more moment
i read it
and knew immediately
the stars had meant for me
to save it
until this empty sky
suddenly full of twinkling light