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How to Avoid Being Duct Taped in the Back of a Van and other Holiday Shopping Tips

As you head out into the whirl and rush of the big, bad Christmas shopping world, remember ladies…

Keep your car doors locked.
Never leave valuables or gifts in plain sight within vehicle.
Lock items in trunk.
Check under your car and the back seat before entering vehicle.
Use keys as a weapon if necessary.(Really, folks? Has any woman ever Freddy Kreugered her way through an attack successfully?)
Wrap your purse strap around your body 47 times.
Carry your credit cards in your bra.
Dress plainly.
Be aware of your surroundings.
Only park in well lit areas.
Don’t park in an area or parking garage that looks like some shit is about to go down like it’s a movie set.
Wear shoes you can run screaming in.
Carry a whistle.
Carry pepper spray on your key chain.
Leave your vagina at home while you shop.
Utilize safety in numbers.
Walk with purpose.
Check the homeland security color coded chart.
Avoid Cinnabon.
Don’t forget the wrapping paper.

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