i have lived

black and white photos
of my ancestors line the walls
of my mother’s lavender bedroom

standing stoically on the farm
or in front of the church
aged beyond their years
their eyes filled with poverty
defeat
the fear of god
tobacco
polio
and pine boxes

not much separates a kentucky wedding
from a kentucky funeral

the country steals your innocence sooner

if love is a little girl
who emerged alive
from a tree lined morning
after being left behind in the darkest woods
to be eaten by wolves

then i have loved

if life is pain
exposed to the bone
so excruciating
i must write it down
building
sentences from it
to help me withstand
the weight of existence

then i have lived

and given the world two sons