this do in remembrance of me

i always knew he would pass away alone

an animal who crawled off
into the wilds of the city

to be near water
on the banks
of the hudson river

away from the eyes
of his once privileged coterie

looking back

he had this way

of knowing exactly
what to say
to make you
want to die
laughing
at any given moment

in a crowded elevator he would announce
his shipment of fainting goats
had been lost at sea

or the

silly little things he would buy
and ship to me
sin-o-mints
that tasted just like jesus

odds and ends
jewelry, dolls, books, clothing, blankets, pocket knives, chocolates, the finest pastry

such attention paid to each detail
down to the very last
red pepper and cream cheese layer
of traveling sandwiches packed for me

until the demon came
and the bones of his face would change

his poetry became shit
i wanted to stab him to death
with the word consider

yes

he had this way

of knowing exactly
what to say
to make you
want
to
die