this is the night
i must forgive you
not for your sake
or mine
no
i’m endeavoring to do this
for my sons
they don’t deserve
to have their mother destroyed
a woman laid to waste by poisonous contempt
numbed with bourbon and burning stakes
but see
i know you won’t get that
a mother loving her sons
and i’m sorry
it seems to be causing you a bit of trouble
but i’m tired of mourning you
i have somehow become
your unmarked grave
so
i dig deep
i dig so fucking deep
nails scraping dirt and jagged stones thrown
to remember
your sweetest
words spoken
to make me smile
in the darkest hours
whenever i was full of agony
distance or fear
even in mid-July
especially in mid-July
bright side ironic
you would say,
“Thank god it’s Christmas, eh?”
yeah, baby
thank god it’s christmas
i wish you endless peace
now i can walk away