i went to a cathedral today
knelt on red velvet
in a vestibule
of a religion
not my own
lit a green glass votive candle
the same color as your eyes
i’ve finally forgiven you
but maybe i only came by that
because i defeated you
in the process
helped save another person’s life
my lips needed no intermediary
speaking directly to grace
i prayed for the salvation
of your undeserving soul
my steady hand
dropped a two dollar bill
in the donation box
remembering
what together felt like
the only thing you ever said to me of value
as we counted church steeples
from a high rise window
in downtown cincinnati
was
a person must have unwavering faith
i no longer believe in you
and though i don’t claim to know what it is
i believe
in the goodness of god