desecrate
that is what we did to each other
when things fell apart
i don’t know how no one ended up
dying adriana style
in the pine barrens
of our shared new jersey
you swaggering Greek god
warring angel in cordovan boots
who taught me to love lone rhinoceros
until you traded in your poetry shoes for high heels
the same year i did
i should have seen it
i was willfully blind
you were trying to tell me
and when i figured it out
it hit me like a death
you read with big cats on St. Mark’s Place
became a beat poet of Freedonia
and then you died
the last night we ever wrote poems about each other on our blogs
you went to sleep
watching the Red Sox
on a Friday night and never woke up
when we celebrated Jimmie Tropeano releasing his Eduardo Jones faced Gutterfish into the wild
with a bottle of Johnnie walker blue
floating on clouds of clinking glasses
wild turkey Manhattan in Brooklyn
extra dry vermouth, two cherries
was the closest we came to heaven
we ate pizza candy while floating on stars on bloomfield avenue
we had strawberry sundaes in the same booth at holsten’s
where tony soprano stopped believing
i was so in love with your gregory peck cum bada bing badass
who took me on tour when you sang the blues
in front of larry holmes’ ringside
i loved you then
i love you now
i am sorry for the wake i left behind
but i disagree with you, i deserved it
your cousin said even though we were apart she still considers me your widow
i have emerged from behind the veil of grief and found pure gratitude and gladness
i lost you but i inherited babs
the poetry queen of Delaware
a Robin’s egg who’s rarely blue
two peanuts in an engagement ring box
a sister in jcm, and the painting of calamity jane
your obituary says you loved with a rare intensity,
but were fiercely loyal
boy howdy, cowboy
you kept that door knocker i gave you
so that you could come calling in my dreams
beat poet who was my bourbon king
i will forever apologize to your bones
a wise person once told me every person has a list of people they love until the end of time
they become your guardian angels when they die
i’m ready to see that lighthouse now,
after i visit our waterfall in Grace Lord Park
i was yours and you were mine
the way you loved me
is where i find my happiness now
i can hear your velvet gravel voice
crooning sweetly as we drive down the shore
of course it is, baby girl, of course it is….
