tony soprano wanna be
unfortunate victim of my deliberate farce
you decided to
whack my daddy
fooled my mama
then you tried to get her
to take the blame for my father’s death
i
on the front porch of my mother’s home
was recently informed by the man who volunteered
to raise me that you had plans to move into my memaw’s house and take over my grandaddy’s land
pardon me all kindly-like
but over my dead body
wasn’t miss ida’s pills enough of poison
you already tried to give me alcohol poisoning twice
here Fred, sign this insurance policy and kill yourself,
i promise to take care of Alicia forever
.
you took my father and started molesting me
long before you fucked my parents over
those nights you would sneak in when gina kept me
you would “rub my tee tees” to help me sleep
brother-in-law
i told you on the back of that four wheeler at your 55th birthday party
when you lured me deep into
the same woods i explored in as a child
when you rammed your hand
into the pussy you had apparently coveted since my birth
that i would scream if you didn’t drive back to the mansion you built when you graduated from selling blow to construction
everybody is a gangster until it’s time to do some gangster shit
made my sister Gina a child bride
and raped Stacey at gun point in fort lauderdale florida
when you decided to stop selling weed to motorcycle gangs
and graduate to massive distribution of cocaine
who was that british chap again
the one who owned yachts in florida you moved the drugs in
.
you were so proud when you made your first million
but failed to mention to all the folks
you sold your salt water snake oil to
admit it you were trying to kill mom with it
that the first 50,000 was covered in my father’s blood
you pointed a gun at me in my mother’s home
you sold my father his death like it was a Kirby sweeper
the night before my 45th birthday
and that’s the night i saved my mother’s soul
i’m coming, john simpleton
the nephew of the most beloved cop
ever to fly a helicopter over pulaski county
has your number
i tricked you motherfucker
with a gun in my face
Venus Ramey is laughing at you from Heaven
everybody is a gangster until it’s time to do some gangster shit
well, who’s the gangster now
i am now the matriarch of our family
you want a crime family
how is this for you
if you or my sisters come near me or anyone i love
everyone will know john simpleton did this
the kentucky state police will probably want a word with you
if my sisters wish to see our mother
they will notify me first through my nieces
so i don’t have to look at my ugly hearted half-sisters
memaw is laughing too
i remember her saying to me
when in doubt blame john
memaw always was the best therapist
you terrorized our family for 45 years
never again
knock knock
who’s there
a civil suit for the wrongful death of fred james young
time to admit to all that insurance fraud too
because talking someone into suicide with fake insurance policies IS PREMEDITATED MURDER
and i learned in fancy mortuary college during a law class that libel ain’t libel if what you’re saying is true
lemme see, yeah,
the tiny amount of money you killed my daddy for
that blue corvette you bought at old don jacobs in Lexington
remember that
the one you drove around three counties like king shit of turd mountain
the one you bought with the blood of my father
it’s amazing what a little bit of crazy and a whole lotta love can accomplish
the book now done
the good guys won
you are death incarnate
it’s my face with Fred and Elmie’s eyes
you’ll see
when you show up nervous to the pearly gates
guess what
you ain’t getting in
son
I guess being the first person to register as an independent voter in Lincoln County is the least interesting thing you’ve done
this is what happens when the sopranos finale ends
with christopher snuffing out tony