
Category: thanatology

Ha!! Me, too…
Poof* Take MY water

Paris in the rain
a woman’s life
is too tenuous
delicate
billowy
spider web
close call on I-75
in preterm labor
on the way to the
Paris airport
in the rain
fragile
beautiful
precious
sacrosanct
finite
for bad friends
bad family
bad coffee
bad shoes
bad mattresses
bad jobs
bad husbands
bad debt
and bad dick
learn this by 30 for maximum
enjoyment
future
female
conquerors
of a dying planet
when a living creature
has an unnatural state
inflicted upon its existence
things rarely turn out well
for the specimen
.
war
starvation
drought
intoxication
concentration camps
laboratory foods
pharmaceutical cultures
imprisonment
unhappy marriage
industrialization
slavery
religion
Los Angeles International Airport
and
the  digital imposition
that is
the internet
.
yet we can’t stop meddling
with our world
.
when what remains
of humanity
can no longer see the sun
.
we will blame pollution
and the microchip
.
yet it is our own
irreverent
parasitic instincts
.
too late to admit
human psychology
was the harbinger
of our own death
Janne Teller,
a Danish novelist
of Austrian-German background,
wrote the line,
“From the moment we are born,
we begin to die.”
I, poet,
think to myself,
only a Danish novelist
of Austrian-German background
could possibly conceive of a line
that fucking morbid.
The following line should simply read,
“Why not avoid the protracted suffering
and slit your wrists, the proper way, now?”
Death was my business for many years,
Ms. Janne “I-Need-Zoloft” Teller.
I am pleased to inform you,
there is a prolonged period
between birth and death
which we warm blooded humans
refer to as, “life,”
and it is nothing short
of miraculous.
once you’ve been a mortician
you never stop thinking
or dreaming
like one
.
beyond exposure
to the harshest chemicals
in existence
it is the psychological blitzkrieg
that is the true
occupational hazard
.
i am plagued by dreams
of having to embalm
my dead since i was 6 father
his features i set perfectly
but his hands won’t take the fluid
they are a sick yellowish color
with blackened fingernails
the fingers spread apart
ghoulishly
implying
death is always
grasping coldly toward us
.
as for the rest of humanity
my eyes see them
as softened fruit
about to spoil
.
each day
has become a discipline
in attempting
not to think
this way
.
as i find life
in all its pain and glory
to be worthwhile
and of
unfathomable beauty
.
to spit or to swallow
the patience and wisdom
coming with age
are fast becoming
my favorite shoes to wear
.
as my own horseshit
and the shenanigans of others
become less excusable
with each passing day
every birthday candle wished upon and blown
.
there comes a point
when you’ve been told
you know better
.
repeated behaviors are either psychosis
or selfish forms of masturbation
such as the poets who write
their daily vengeance poem
scribbled in shit and crayon
on unsuspecting
psych ward facebook walls
.
god
grant me the serenity
to zip my lips when called for
.
to know when to spit
and when to swallow
.
but mostly
when to say
fuck off
dipshit
you’re so much like daddy, be the death of me
my father died in 1984
i haven’t been able to remember his voice since 1986
and the sound of a voice
is the most precious thing to me
but this morning
your twang brought back synapses who longed for three decades to remember
“Daddy loves you, Alicia, be a good girl”
(and i died a thousand deaths in the minutes still ringing after)
and how five minutes later
out the front door
would go all my mother’s clothing
and our Zenith console TV
thank you for that
saddle up, cowboy
give me immortality
you’re so much like daddy
be the death of me