age has
inoculated me
to human charm
genuine and feigned
thank goodness
Tag: aging
Categories
40
you rationalize
justify
all you want
age 40
is the doorway
to the latter half
of your life
thoughts and prayers
and other useless platitudes
to those struggling to catch up
but
if you haven’t found your way by now
you never will
i have loved
owned a ridiculously big house
lived in the best school district
driven luxury cars
worn designer clothes
mounted men with huge cocks
and still i was left
wanting
unfulfilled
i was surviving
not living
because the only pure bliss
is freedom of choice
autonomy
the ability
to not give
a single fuck
it is too much to ask of existence
for it to have meaning
we greedy humans
perpetually asking why
as if we deserve an explanation
drawn to illuminating answers
like moths to flame
yet the moth knows
antennae to wing tip
there is nothing to know
but the euphoria found within
temporary light
Categories
addiction Americana analysis art behavior biology books civility ecology education family happiness history human behavior literature local color nature non-fiction parenthood physics poetry psychology publishing punk relationship studies religion rituals science society sociology Southern Gothic thanatology the arts war writing
to spit or to swallow
the patience and wisdom
coming with age
are fast becoming
my favorite shoes to wear
.
as my own horseshit
and the shenanigans of others
become less excusable
with each passing day
every birthday candle wished upon and blown
.
there comes a point
when you’ve been told
you know better
.
repeated behaviors are either psychosis
or selfish forms of masturbation
such as the poets who write
their daily vengeance poem
scribbled in shit and crayon
on unsuspecting
psych ward facebook walls
.
god
grant me the serenity
to zip my lips when called for
.
to know when to spit
and when to swallow
.
but mostly
when to say
fuck off
dipshit
when i turn 70
i shall have the words “fuck you”
tattooed gargantuan
in a flourishing font
across my back
where angel’s wings would be attached
if where i came from
had anything to do with heaven
it will give me a reason to make it that far
and to take up
irreverent sun bathing
february 2cd
(cue booming hollow sports announcer voice)
super bowl SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY
ground hog day
on which
punxsutawney phil saw his fictitious shadow
in the epicenter
of manufactured battles
man vs. weather
man vs. processed cheese polymer
man vs. traumatic brain and spinal cord injury
my war
is that my personal health is at a tipping point
the choices i make now
will determine the length of my life
and my overall wellness
2014 must be the year i stop
abusing myself
with smoke
with drink
with bad jobs
with bad men
my sons are 18 now
i choose to see them live as flourishing men
i want to put my best face forward
for the coming apocalypse
this leaves me with only one drug
words
my sword dipped in ink
in the contest between good and evil
good wins
know why?
books
kisses from children
and puppies
but even they won’t stop the earth
from feeling the need to
cure itself of us
we are coming to our unpollinated end
so all you lesser demons can fuck off
Categories
watch it blow
if you abuse anything
it will not last as long
a car
a friendship
a dog
a marriage
a bottle of bourbon
your audience
all gone
into your bottomless trash can
i treat my life like a fetish item
fully aware the value is peaking
and that people assume everything a woman writes is a god damned confession
a dirty secret whispered
over an even dirtier martini
oopsie tastes like pussy
well, sit back and enjoy the pyrotechnics, folks
i’m staring down the barrell
of who gives a fuck now i’m 40
so let’s set fire to this fucking place
stand back laughing and
watch it blow
it is an accepted truth of passing science
that shorter people live longer
i always rationalized
that there is more likely to go wrong
amidst miles of spine, veins, and limbs
but that’s not the reason
it’s mind over matter
discovering this because of my own
diminutive stature
it is impossible to feel old
when your swaying feet
don’t find the floor
beneath the bar stool
enduring a lifetime of
phone book thrones
when one is perpetually
reaching for things
with the assistance
of a nearby chair
Categories
used cars
surely
a man married thrice
would have
by the fourth wife
mastered the dance precise
i’m looking for a reliable 70’s model ford
the day is may 11th
of a nameless century
there are still no flying cars
a date which sounds important
as it falls on the porch
as if it was once to be remembered
for the sake
of a now forgotten heart
august 3rd
december 12th
october 2cd
january 14th
perhaps we were married that day
or filed papers not to be
a baby was lost
two children born
soft shoulders knocking over
the statues of kings with motives
spitting in the face of blessed concord
my days have been so long
the veil of time has torn
i have fallen in love so many nights
that i am sure
today is someone’s birthday
i don’t remember your name
but i hope you live
in a place where it’s warm
with four shots of bourbon left
and a cigarette
in the pack on the dash
of your earth bound ford