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Poof* Take MY water

activism addiction horror Uncategorized

fuck you, all the same

as the days pile up

flash bulb memories

are what i remember

of the alcoholic father

the alcoholic first husband

the drunken loss of a decade with the blue eyes

it may be a disease but that makes you no less vile as a person

there’s no excuse for

trembling as my dad threw a giant television set out the front door into the yard

stairs turning upside down as the father of my sons headbutted me into submission

for wanting to leave his dysfunctions

threats of handguns and bodybags

that’s booze soaked rage

a blitzkrieg of anger

a pot boiled over

every tea kettle in the world simultaneously

spitting steam



the shape of a man

fathers day

is a black hole

the shape of a man

filled with regret


and horrific choices

addiction behavior death


i live aboard a sinking ship

where the captain is drunk at the helm

praying for more icebergs

i am afraid

my family is going to die

paupers trapped behind

locked gates

in steerage

human behavior literature sociology writing

AA meetings aren’t for people who need them, they’re for people who want them

he showed up drunk

at 59 years old


to pick me up

from the hospital

with another gallon

of wild turkey tossed in the back seat

he had bought

along with

fetid red Marlboros

on the five mile way


at that moment

i was no longer certain

who had run out of excuses


or me



i have much more

to lose

than two units

of blood

Jazz Music poetry Short Stories Uncategorized Urban Legends writing

he would complain i never wrote poems about him

there is a place where love dies

it is halfway through a liter of whiskey
when his furnace eyes burn
a dying madman’s gaze

i’m five again
and afraid of what daddy is going to do to mommy

like a fool i try to hide what’s left in the bottle
to keep his sickness from swallowing the house

crying out to god in the sink hole
haven’t my children suffered enough

but the gesture only serves to fuel the monster’s rage

backed into a corner
his hands wrap around my throat
spitty growl threatening
to smack me with
a hot iron

all i can think to myself is
you got what you wanted
you stupid bitch
such a fine job you’ve done replacing your father

never again will i accept this as love
i own the shitty choices i’ve made

but some insidious bastards
deserve to get cancer of the eyes

Jazz Music poetry Short Stories Uncategorized Urban Legends writing

brain rot

he will offer
that i am usually correct
in my assessments of sticky situations
why the sun left the earth passed out at the bar
except when they apply to him
and the fact that he needs help

Jazz Music poetry Short Stories Uncategorized Urban Legends

heroin would be quicker

i’ve never heard
the bell
of a cherokee pony ring
though my ears know it exactly

the same way
my bones are certain
that i am drinking myself into the grave
so that i die before you

you’re the stronger of the two of us
you can live with everything wrong
and still enjoy the taste of beer

i’m not capable of one day
of feeling that alone in the world

there are nearly two decades i need to kill

but i’m full of shit
because we both know

heroin would be quicker

Jazz Music poetry Short Stories Uncategorized Urban Legends

sewing on lace

such grand gestures
of morning after guilt
you are capable of
buying every seat in the stadium
reserved for your bent knee apology
hindenburg full of flammable gas
floating overhead
scrolling about
how sorry
how sorry
how sorry
but it matters naught
indefensible drunk
i’m tired of sewing on lace
to what a dumb cunt you are

Jazz Music poetry Short Stories Uncategorized Urban Legends

how to drink Wild Turkey in the morning

he set about to kill me
in my early 30’s
by teaching me
how to drink
Wild Turkey in the morning

while chanting the three rules of writing

write what you know
write like you have no mother
there are no other rules

while i preeshated it at the time

he always wanted me to be less me

how adorable

i’m adding a few rules

write like you have no god

write like you have nothing to lose

write like you have never been to the sea

i smile an older smile and shake my head
warm in the knowledge
most writers behave like shitty teenage girls

and we shouldn’t take ourselves

so fucking seriously