Tag: Christmas
Categories
Christmas Eve
she adorns her hair
with holly leaves
cardinals singing carols on
her sweater sleeves
crushed rose petals lips
angels for earrings
a scarf woven of silvery tinsel
each candle lit
a prayer for earth
sent to the mail room in heaven
all this
and a love poem
on Christmas Eve
don’t suffer from
depression,
poetry says,
festoon that shit
the bedroom curtains
would be left open
upon my insistence
.
framed with clinging frost
to better gaze into the late evening sky
.
sure Santa Claus would find
his way through my stars
.
as i watched intently
from beneath
my Cabbage Patch Doll comforter
only to fall
fast asleep
listening for reindeer sleigh bells
.
not knowing
.
life is never what it seems
.
but exactly
what lies within
the human heart
.
may yours be filled
with love and hope
this happy Christmas night
christmas was nearly lost
to a human form of fire
morning was hijacked by manic
rather than merry
i sat amidst the cinders
and falling rafters
still burning
in the early afternoon
wrapping presents
reusing a gift bag
in which i had been given
a book of biblical proportions
from a connected friend
then
as i emptied the contents
there they were
a set of christmas bulb earrings
clear glass
like the ones that glistened in my innocent
little girl fingers
at my grandmother’s tree trimming parties
i had somehow overlooked them
amongst the green tissue paper
in my excitement over the book
and let me tell you
it was a moment when i needed to be loved
i needed to feel loved more than anything in the world
i needed magic
and she gave it to me
that was the day
amy’s earrings
saved me
this is the night
i must forgive you
not for your sake
or mine
no
i’m endeavoring to do this
for my sons
they don’t deserve
to have their mother destroyed
a woman laid to waste by poisonous contempt
numbed with bourbon and burning stakes
but see
i know you won’t get that
a mother loving her sons
and i’m sorry
it seems to be causing you a bit of trouble
but i’m tired of mourning you
i have somehow become
your unmarked grave
so
i dig deep
i dig so fucking deep
nails scraping dirt and jagged stones thrown
to remember
your sweetest
words spoken
to make me smile
in the darkest hours
whenever i was full of agony
distance or fear
even in mid-July
especially in mid-July
bright side ironic
you would say,
“Thank god it’s Christmas, eh?”
yeah, baby
thank god it’s christmas
i wish you endless peace
now i can walk away
me
at maybe three
new to the world
already punk rockin’
in Sesame Street pajamas
and Grover slippers on my feet
liked to curl up
under the christmas tree
staring up through lit branches
sure i had found
where magic sleeps
Categories
the night he died
i can no longer recall
the last words we shared
but it was something screamed in anger
whilst trying to force the earth
to bend to our geography
memories, blood, and paint
all turn to brown
when mixed and left alone to dry
my mind retains only one
fading recording
of his voice
a few words
he would say in the most desperate
hours of the night
“Baby, I’m tired, I need to sleep. This is not the last day that will see me loving you.”
…until it was
Categories
lenny bruce’s eyes
the holidays stopped by
with a bottle of bourbon
tucked under his arm
a sugar coated lemon moon
hovering above his hat
he is beautiful
in the opened doorway
we share a heaviness of heart
more burdening
than
lenny bruce’s eyes
i tell him thank you
for remembering
i’m sometimes very little
and act accordingly
his smile becomes centuries
a coltrane record begins to spin
my favorite things
in the corner
all of it carried in his pocket
as he pours spirits
into perfectly mismatched glasses
and says
i’m here because
we spend this time of year
surrounded by people
who are gone
Categories
love affair
we were driving
near the water
i was green
with a lack of land
begging him to veer away from lighthouses
he never let me drive
but it was okay
because it was one of the ways
he was older than me
and i counted on him for that
leaning in he notices
my pearly white painted fingertips
resting against the tan leather of the car
and says
your nails are beautiful
i say the color is called
love affair
and he says
of course it is, baby girl,
of course it is…