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poet husbandry

I’ve done my share. Coast to coast.

I’ve done my share of poet husbands, too.


t’ain’t shakespeare, folks

i knew it was love
when i laid my head
on his lap
and he said,
“oh, that feels good,
my dick in your hair…”

Americana civility fauna health

i feel dirty


poetry travel writing

the resistance

i’m moving to

south america

to fight

in the resistance

it’s not political

i just love wearing berets

biology literature sociology

have your children avert their eyes

my favorite feature of his

was his gargantuan scrotum

it was damned frightening

by god

like the vietnam war

every bit as hairy

and protracted



up until him

i had only seen that sort of thing

in a zoo


or an antique dentists office copy

of national geographic

Jazz Music poetry Short Stories Uncategorized Urban Legends writing

glamour gal

i have the legs
of an angry ballerina
battleship hips
and stevedore arms

i laugh too loudly
but often cover my mouth
to hold the ecstasy inside me

i punched your uncle who was in the navy
at your christmas party

i spike my orange juice
with bourbon and honey

i’ve been known
to leave the house
wearing two different pumps

perhaps only one eye
of makeup done

makes it so
i sometimes get dizzy when i’m driving
or wearing heels
and fall down
let us hope it’s a day
i have no panties on

i’m a poet
so i sit around
in the orange gloam
of after dinner evening
with other writers
coffee mugs in hand
discussing why it is
we haven’t slept
in years

and what it means when your piss smells
like a fresh roasted tanzanian nigerian blend

i can’t be anywhere on time
there exists a curve in my very existence
but i’m from the south
i do everything slowly
and with great deliberation

i masturbated in the tub once
and nearly drowned

such the glamour gal

Jazz Music poetry Short Stories Uncategorized Urban Legends

cautionary tale for my unfortunate third husband

we are edenic indeed
so before atom knocks up eve

please allow me to say

i’ve fallen in love with you

it is with a heavy heart
and precisely why
i must engage in this dire task

weaving this

cautionary tale for my unfortunate third husband

i am a

moody bitch
Kentucky girl
desperately punk

woman who will never stop loving you
once i call you mine

poetry Short Stories Uncategorized

How to Avoid Being Duct Taped in the Back of a Van and other Holiday Shopping Tips

As you head out into the whirl and rush of the big, bad Christmas shopping world, remember ladies…

Keep your car doors locked.
Never leave valuables or gifts in plain sight within vehicle.
Lock items in trunk.
Check under your car and the back seat before entering vehicle.
Use keys as a weapon if necessary.(Really, folks? Has any woman ever Freddy Kreugered her way through an attack successfully?)
Wrap your purse strap around your body 47 times.
Carry your credit cards in your bra.
Dress plainly.
Be aware of your surroundings.
Only park in well lit areas.
Don’t park in an area or parking garage that looks like some shit is about to go down like it’s a movie set.
Wear shoes you can run screaming in.
Carry a whistle.
Carry pepper spray on your key chain.
Leave your vagina at home while you shop.
Utilize safety in numbers.
Walk with purpose.
Check the homeland security color coded chart.
Avoid Cinnabon.
Don’t forget the wrapping paper.