Hell
is conveniently situated
between Ohio
and California
Hell
is conveniently situated
between Ohio
and California
I’ve done my share. Coast to coast.
I’ve done my share of poet husbands, too.
Back in 2012, when I had my first book release in Los Angeles, I had a crystal beaded necklace that pulled apart in my suitcase. It seemed wrong to rid myself of the estranged gems, and I harboured unlikely notions of restringing the beloved bauble one day. As I was packing to leave, some of the beads accidentally rolled under my voluptuous bed in The Biltmore Hotel. I suspect they may still be there, as things seem not to change much there, except the sheets, and I liked the notion of leaving a part of myself behind in the City of Angels.
The beads remained in my suitcase as I drove and flew to poetry gigs all over the country for the next few years. In keeping with the precedent set in Los Angeles, I started purposefully dropping them in places I stayed. I would toss the pea-sized stones into locations they were unlikely to be found: down antique brass filigree air vents in byzantine hotels, behind cabinetry permanently affixed, through imperfectly sawed holes cut for plumbing to climb and dive through plaster, beneath the loose floorboards of my friend’s apartment, into the chasms of airport elevator shafts. You get the idea.
There are pieces of my secret crystal beaded necklace hidden in Los Angeles, Santa Barbara, Redondo Beach, Berkeley, Venice Beach, San Francisco, Oakland, Salt Lake City, Chicago, Cleveland, New York City, Elyria, Canton, Nashville, Lexington, Dallas, Cincinnati, and even pitiful Little Rock, Arkansas, a place I didn’t care for at all. I consider them amulets to protect people and cities with whom I fell in love, and talismans to keep away those whom I didn’t. The faceted baubles keep me tethered, connected through minutiae, in the smallest of ways.
More beads remain in my suitcase to this day, an impossible amount hidden within the satin folds, certainly a greater number than my finite crystal necklace was ever originally composed of. It is as if the universe is telling me that I have more journeys to take, love to make, and fine people to meet. So, if you’re staying in a heat wilted hotel by the Pacific Ocean, enduring a vaulted matchbox overlooking the Hudson River, standing by a tuneless luggage carousel, or renting a beautiful two bedroom flat nestled near Lake Erie, and a magical crystal bead finds you, that’s just me…and I’ll be seeing you.
it struck me
as funny
that free condoms
handed out in
New York City
had subway maps
on the wrappers
in case you were erect
and desperately needed
to get
to Yonkers
he told me
i had the most beautiful lips
heart shaped
the sort meant for kissing
so i showed him
they were capable
of so much more
standing in the shower
this morning
i saw a spider die fighting
against the current of water
and i thought to myself
i could write a few lines for that lost arachnid
his own rime of the ancient mariner
an ode to the minutiae
the miniscule struggling mites of the planet
but what’s the fucking point of flowery conjecture
regarding what does and doesn’t matter
i can’t save him with words
or write an appropriate memorial
nor can i save
a gassed syrian baby
or a woman standing
in the way of an exploding madman panel truck
the waning poet in me cries out for a god
who stood us up
who split with our luggage
who never checked in
at the hotel airport
yeah, i could write a poem
if i remembered
what a poet is
what’s more poetic
than a poet
who doesn’t
feel like a poet
anymore
i remember it was a sunny day
the bridge was yellow
the river was green
i wore blue
and even the soft cream color of your hat
was a lie
forever keep the one
who insists
on picking you up
from the airport
this is
the love
of your life