

he loved me completely
he had the sweetest, big dumb bear grin
honey dripping even
when he looked at me
he smiled the length of the eastern seaboard
crooked loving sunshine in smiles over 5 o’clock stubble
whilst buying me tiny lobsters made of chocolate
took 1,001 pictures of me drinking coffee, eating lemon Italian ice
marveling at hermit crabs wearing ornately bejeweled shells
navigating social media oceans and long distance romances
from Neptune City to New York Harbor
we nearly sank together
we never truly said goodbye
we never stopped wanting
we never stopped feeling
but he never trusted himself
he never trusted me
though he had many names for me
baby gurl
angel kitten
alicia honey
sweetie poof,
and sometimes simply,
mine
he lied
and then abandoned me to coddle
his comfortable failures.
He once told me the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference.
How’s that working out, jack?
I knew he would never have the courage
to call me the one thing he should have called me:
his wife.
Hosted by the hilarious Eric Lawson, Make Your Own Fun is a series where writers of every ilk are interviewed, but mostly freegin’ poets.
you are a book
i have kept open
in dimmest candlelight
long past
the reason of midnight
Christmastime
finds
all of us
pleading with ghosts
there are times
i feel like the only person alive
who feels that
one Bukowski
was enough
there’s a reading chair
i won’t allow to die
propped up with
an old Royal Typewriter case
where i drift off
dreaming unafraid
of slow-moving tornadoes
& your whispering face
weighing scientifically
which is more destructive
.
you’re haunting me
as promised
but not so much i feel put upon
which i know
you would hate
(artwork by Stephen Mackey)
i’ve never met a typewriter
i didn’t want to bang
i wrote it all down
in black eyeliner
on my pillow case
pictures of
young Virginia Woolf
cause me to weep
rivers
her features
seem as though
depression was her mother
pain her father
a mouth made to sigh
as if she knew
the moment she was born
she wanted to die